When Children Don’t Matter
Growing up under conditions of neglect, where your worth is questioned, will likely result in timidity and self-doubt. Such characteristics do not bode well for making a contribution to anybody. What’s more, they can lead to disease, dysfunction, and early death. Feeling valued as a child is one of the best predictors of health and wellness as an adult. Feeling neglected is one of the best predictors of disease and dysfunction. The extent of the connection between abuse and family problems in childhood, and disease in adulthood, was discovered in a landmark study in the mid-nineties.
The Center for Disease Control partnered with Kaiser Permanente in San Diego to examine the relationship of health risk behaviors and disease in adults to exposure to abuse and family dysfunction in childhood. Over 9,500 people participated in the study. Participants were asked about early experiences of emotional, physical, or sexual abuse. They were also asked about violence against their mother in the home, and living with people who were substance abusers, mentally ill, suicidal, or were ever imprisoned. All these conditions were termed exposure to adverse childhood experiences (ACEs).
The results showed that, compared with people who had no exposure to adverse experiences, people who were exposed to four or more adverse experiences had a 4 to 12-fold increase in risk of drug abuse, depression, suicide, and alcoholism. Moreover, they also had a 2 to 4-fold increase in smoking, self-reported poor health, and sexually transmitted diseases. Finally, they had a 1.4 to 1.6 increase in severe obesity.
In general, the study showed that the more adverse childhood experiences people had to endure, the higher their risk for heart disease, cancer, chronic lung disease, liver disease, and skeletal fractures. These are all leading causes of death. Needless to say, when you are preoccupied with alcoholism, and afflicted with serious diseases, you have less bandwidth to contribute to others and to yourself. This study provides strong evidence that feeling devalued, a clear result of abuse, neglect, and family dysfunction, is predictive of limitations in our ability to add value. Depression and suicidal ideation, experienced by many participants who were exposed to neglect, are the opposite of self-love and the antithesis to adding value. Alcoholism is so all consuming that it limits how much people can contribute to others. In fact, alcoholics exact an incredible toll on their families.
All this could be prevented by putting in place policies and practices that support parents and families with the resources they need to be the best parents they can be.
Dr. Isaac Prilleltensky is an award-winning academic and author. He is also a coach, consultant and a researcher. His latest book, co-authored with his wife, Dr. Ora Prilleltensky, is How People Matter: Why it Affects Health, Happiness, Love, Work, and Society (Cambridge University Press, 2021). Press here to pre-order.