The Two Sides of Caring
Why is it that everyone is in favor of caring and compassion and our society continues to neglect millions of people without health care and without shelter? The two of us have lived in other countries in which everyone’s health care is covered, regardless of ability to pay insurance. In Israel, Canada and Australia everyone was covered by the system. We lived 15 years in Canada in two provinces and we never, ever, received a bill for the excellent care we received, nor did we ever have to wait long to see a specialist. We don’t mean to romanticize these medical systems, for problems exist, but at least there was a national consensus that health care was a right, and not a privilege. We are frankly astounded by the lack of public outcry regarding the millions of people who lack health care.
People rationalize this state of affairs by invoking proximal caring at the expense of distal caring. Proximal caring is the attention and compassion afforded people close to us through chance, birth, or association. We express proximal caring to our children, parents, peers, and to the people we serve through our volunteer work in schools, hospitals or community centers. We feel good about what we do and think that we have fulfilled our caring obligations toward society. But this perception is inaccurate, for caring consists not only of proximal, but also of distal caring.
Distal caring pertains to compassion for those whom we don’t personally know, but who nevertheless deserve our compassion. Sometimes people who live two blocks away from us are lacking in basic necessities, and for some reason we don’t regard them as falling within the realm of our caring obligations. This is because people concentrate on proximal caring and neglect distal caring. Both components of caring, distal and proximal are equally valid. Yet, by focusing only on the proximal aspect, people feel they have dutifully discharged their caring obligations, leaving social issues to politicians and government officials.
Proximal and distal duties must be discharged for the value of caring to be fulfilled. If more people embraced this dual conception of caring and compassion, more people would be on the streets protesting the lack of health care and nutrition for many in their community. Distal caring matters as much as proximal caring.
Dr. Isaac Prilleltensky is an award-winning academic and author. He is also a coach, consultant and a researcher. His latest book, co-authored with his wife, Dr. Ora Prilleltensky, is How People Matter: Why it Affects Health, Happiness, Love, Work, and Society (Cambridge University Press, 2021). Press here to order.